Sandra Harmon, Dating, Sex, and Relationship coach is this month's Wild WE of the month. In addition to being a love coach, Sandra is an award-winning author. Read more about Sandra and her work at www.sandraharmon.com.

Tell us how you became a love coach. What did you do before you became a coach?

Before I became love coach, I had a long and successful career as a journalist, Emmy Award winning TV writer/producer, film maker and best selling author.
I began in TV by writing a popular daily TV talk show, and then wrote comedy shows and pilots, as well as television films and also books.

My first novel, was "A Girl Like Me", a slightly fictionalized version of my life. I also wrote and produced the NBC movie, "Fast Friends", which was based on my experiences writing a daytime television talk show.

I then wrote the book, "Elvis and Me", with Priscilla Presley, which became a huge best-seller and also a four hour miniseries. I also produced another film, "Promises to Keep" which starred Claire Bloom and Robert Mitchum.

During these years, I believed myself to be a "liberated" woman. I had a short marriage when I was in my twenties, and then many relationships with interesting and celebrated men, although none had led to a successful, long term, committed relationship.

One evening I went to a relationship seminar in Los Angeles. As I began to listen to the speaker, Dr. Pat Allen, I felt as if I had landed at a school for Stepford Wives and wanted to run out the door. But the more I heard, the more I realized that "women's lib", although great for me in the outside world, did not work in the area of love and romance. It had left me careening between being a strong, aggressive "male" who demanded equality and respect from a man, and a warm, loving "female" who wanted that same man to be generous protective and caring. According to Dr. Allen, I was a "Narcissist," and unless I changed, I would end up alone. This was painful for me to acknowledge, even to myself, but I knew I was hearing the truth.

I devoted most of the next year to learning more about this concept and eventually began working on a book which showed women how to find and attract the right man, begin a healthy sexual relationship and get married, or at least engaged, by the end of the first year. This was "Getting To I Do".

Because of the success of "Getting To I Do", I was asked to write the sequel, a manual for men and women who want to be in a marriage that works - physically, mentally and emotionally. This was "Staying Married and Loving It"

After each book was published, I was asked to appear on television, on radio and in newspaper and magazine interviews. Wherever I went, people wanted answers to their love dating, sex and relationship problems, and I was able to help them. I decided to become a personal coach..

Through my books, programs, seminars and one-on-one coaching, I have helped thousands of people to find and keep a loving and committed romantic relationship or marriage. It's not difficult. You just have to learn a few of the rules.

What services do you offer as a coach? Who is your typical client? What are the most common issues your clients are seeking help with? Do you work with more men or women? Typical age of clients?

As a personal Love, Dating, Sex and Relationship Coach, I help both men and women, but mostly women, reach their romantic goals. I do that by coaching my clients in the exact techniques they can use to find and/or keep a loving and intimate relationship.

The problem I deal with most is with successful business women who have trouble knowing how to act "feminine" in a relationship, or don't know if they want to "act" feminine at all. The truth is, in order to be with a "masculine" guy, you have to learn how to act in a "feminine" way, in order to have a loving and successful relationship, while NEVER being used and abused by a man. I like to say, "A man gives, then a woman receives and THEN gives back, but never more than she gets".
I coach my clients on how to find the person who is most compatible with them, if that is what they are looking for, and show them how to begin a new relationship while eliminating old, painful patterns, i.e. how to go from chemistry to commitment (and beyond) without self-destructing. I also help people who are already in a relationship or marriage, solve those problems so the relationship can be saved - or shelved. And I am there every day and every step of the way, with phone calls and emails, and encouragement.

I have specific programs such as; Finding Love through On-Line Dating, For Singles - How To Find a Keep a Lasting Relationship, Marriage and Relationship Coaching, and How to Have Good Sex. Or, everything can be combined with everything else. It’s about what my clients want and need.

I do offer a FREE twenty minute telephone coaching session, during which time I will help you with you with any questions or issues you have romantically, and you can also ask me any questions you might have about me or about coaching in general.
If you want a FREE coaching session, my website is sandraharmon.com and you can sign up there. I also offer a FREE 10 day Ecourse called, How To Attract The Right Man!, which you can sign up for on my web site which is www.sandraharmon.com. I can also be reached at Sandra@sandraharmon.com.

You've received a lot of recognition for your writing. What inspired you to write your books?

I have always been inspired to write books by my need to generate income. Then I pick the subject, which must be something I care about very much. It is usually my way of teaching, helping, entertaining or seeking justice. Those things keep me going for the long and arduous task of writing a book. But I have been very successful, and have had two best sellers. That also is inspiration because if you know you have done it before, you believe you can do it again. At least that is how I see it.

What advice would you give to the aspiring writers among the Wild WE?

l. Don't be afraid to make mistakes and learn from your mistakes.
2. Remember, it's not the writing, it's the rewriting
3. Learn how to accept criticism and rejection because you will be criticized and rejected along the way. Take the good from the criticisms and grow.
4. Have faith in your own voice.
5. Figure out a way to write AND make a living.

Who are your mentors and inspirations in your career?

A woman named Deanne Barkley who was the head writer of the first show at which I worked. I was a secretary and she was my boss. She knew I wanted to be a writer and she gave me the chance and praise and approval I never received elsewhere and I went from being a secretary to a writer in the course of a year. She is still my best friend, many years later.

If you could give one piece of love advice to our Wild WE readers this month, what would it be?

Don't get fooled by the belief that you can be both male and female when you are in a relationship with a man. At the office you can act like a guy if you need to, because you have to compete for top dollar. But when you are with a boyfriend or husband, and he is a "masculine" one, don't turn into a guy yourself or the relationship will not work. Women who are strong and aggressive and successful or want to be, think it's okay to be strong and aggressive in a relationship with a man, but they are wrong. It is not. Masculine men are not attracted to masculine women. They are attracted to feminine women. Remember, it is better to be "loved" than to be "right". So decide whether you want to be the "male" or the "female" in a relationship - you can be either, but not both - and then act accordingly.

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